MY SUMMER LiST

california june 28th - july 8th
get my kicks on route 66  (..as in ROADTRIPS!!)
lots of golfing
baseball games too
bonfires
swimming & tanning
learn to play guitar (go me..i've mastered 3 chords!)
pirates of the caribbean 2.
summer lovin' (haha!)
picnics
trips downtown
water balloon fights
navy pier
ikea hide & seek
6 flags
reading
the beach
habitat for humanity
find a car that i can actually afford & isn't a piece of crap
hang out w/ homies so that maybe next year i won't be as anti-social.... maybe
be a little more of a bad-ass
have a couple all-nighters
visit colleges
maybe actually decide what i wanna do with my life
more to come...

this is going to be my re-inventing summer. why? well why-not? 1 year to college & i can go away as whoever the fuck i want to be. that and i figure i sucked at life so much last year that maybe with a little re-inventing i won't suck as much next year. maybe if i'm a different person next year won't hurt as much.

so i realized i haven't been on xanga for like what..7..8 months? and there's really no reason not to. this is like the deep thinking myspace. when you need to just type for no reason instead of blogging come here. yup that's my theory. so much has changed in 7 months..

definetley NOT friends with the same people and i honestly couldn't be happier. i'm friends with the greatest people in the world and i don't know what i would do without them. i really don't know i would do without lauren but i don't even want to think about it. family is way different. in some ways. phillip's so far away and it's kinda bittersweet that the distance has made us closer. everything else family related i don't wanna type. i've come to the conclusion that madrigals is the single greatest thing you could ever be involved in while in high school. if it were possible to capture the essence of stronghold in a bottle i'd take it with me to the grave. i guess that's why my most prized possesion is my cross. religion has become such a big part of my life right now. it's my rock. church makes me so happy. and free panera after mass just makes sundays that much better.

and yet it's a little disappointing how somehow things always stay the same..

non-exisent love-life? ..maybe? you know i really couldn't tell you. but one thing's for sure i still can't tell my feelings for someone. whether it's friendship or more. everything's just grey. that and i'm definetlely still sexually frustrated. i still am counting the days til i am out of this house. i'm freaking out about my future...there's just so much i want to do & i can't decide plus i don't want to leave everyone. i still have my down and outs. ( some people will get this some won't) ..my 8th-grade-flashbacks if you will... but those amazing people i said before can change my mood in a heartbeat.

but i guess change is for the better. what promoted this thought provoking entry you might ask? okay no one would ask but give me a break. looking through myspaces of old friends and i thought about it and realized how weird it would be if we were friends again. how different things could easily be. and how friends it the one category i wouldn't want to change. we had our bonds in the past but... fuck.. that's done and over. so basically it's sums up to that one quote.. day by day nothing seems to change but pretty soon everything's different.

Currently Listening Keep It Together By Guster Careful see related

is it bad that i'm almost positive i failed my first english quiz? ..yup i think so.

..i think it's worse that i don't really care..

yup. sure do.

let us pipe. pipe & dance. haha mads is amazing.

haha. i love dane cook. he is too funny! & not bad to look at either.

oh guess what? ..i quit. i quit.

i feel as if i've been negleticing my xanga.

i beat mario.

i've read the notebook. i'm halfway through the wedding. after that i'll read the five people you meet in heaven. then maybe the school books. then wicked.

lauren & hobbes are still basically the only people i hang out with.

elly's still horny. but it's okay. she's still one of my top 100 favorite people. actually higher on the list because of her horniness. but that's a different story.

lindsey still lives next-door. i'd like to think i helped her baby-sit by bringing her a water gun.

val & manda still toally rock my socks.

i get my tonsils out the 25th. can't talk for a week or so. oh boy.

that's about it.

& oh joy he's drunk again.

..which means she's being bitchy.

i'm really sick & tired of this house.

& i'm incredibly scared what's gonna happen when phillip leaves...

oh man.

somebody save me?